


Fair Bargain

by vibe_check



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Vampires, are you noticing a trend with my writing style, brief mention of sex but we're still solidly t rated, goemon and zeni have a scene together which is fun, i'm sorry i needed to get it out of my system, lupin wears the same halloween costume all the time, this isn't farfetched guys. its not.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vibe_check/pseuds/vibe_check
Summary: Was Lupin sick? His friends sure thought so. There's only so many times you can make excuses for eating raw meat and ducking away when Fujiko held up a mirror. Zenigata goes against his common sense to investigate, and the night only goes downhill from there.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Zenigata Kouichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	Fair Bargain

**Author's Note:**

> I put off posting this for so long because it is a million percent self indulgent. I think vampires are cool, and I think Lupin is-- Okay, so cool isn't the right word for Lupin, but you get my point.

Lately, Lupin had been acting a bit bizarre. For starters, his hands were perpetually cold these days. He switched to night heists exclusively, even if the job would’ve been easier in daylight. In the event the others dragged him out to a cafe or some such during the day, he would cling to walls, and started wearing ball caps outside of disguise. If it weren’t for how mysterious it was, Zenigata probably would have made fun of him for wearing a hat like that with a highbrow suit. During one of the brief instances where Lupin resided in a cell, he wouldn’t touch his food. Granted, Lupin only stayed there for five hours, but Lupin, in a cheery mood, not chowing down? It wasn’t bad or anything, just a salad. Better than what the other prisoners would get, yet he politely rejected it, telling the inspector he was “just not feeling greens.” 

Zenigata thought it was just him.

He spent a whole week scratching his head, grinding his teeth, trying to figure out if it was physically possible for Lupin to get sick. The idea of asking one of the others turned around in his head a lot, but he ultimately knew if nothing was wrong he’d just be embarrassing himself. He could hear Lupin’s smarmy voice ringing in his head already: “You were worried? Oh Pops, you’re too kind! Your concern almost makes up for you not bringing me a birthday gift this year.”(In Zenigata’s defense, how would he have known Lupin would gift him a pencil holder shaped like a ramen cup?)

Like most days, Zenigata threw away his pride and turned to the comrade he suspected hated him the least. 

Goemon at first looked unfeeling, but that was nothing new. It wasn’t until Zenigata started recounting the strange gaps in Lupin’s new habits that for a brief moment, visible worry flashed on his stern face. 

“I… have noticed, yes.”

Zenigata nodded seriously, but mentally he was sobbing in relief. He wasn’t crazy, yet. “So? Is he sick?”

“We are unsure, to be honest.”

“We?”

Goemon looked aside, questioning if he should really be sharing this much with him. “It is not just me and you. Jigen mentioned it to me first, and later Fujiko shared some unnerving news with me.”

Zenigata’s face fell, and Goemon took the cue to continue. “I assume you do not want to hear the details of their encounter.”

“Enc--? Oh.” Zenigata said quietly. Both of them turned away from each other, suffering from the same awkward thoughts.

Goemon coughed, likely remembering how Fujiko would casually mention the tiny parts she really wouldn’t need to share outside of the bedroom. “She said things were normal, until he smiled.” Zenigata’s brow set as he listened with utmost concentration. “It was kind, but frightening. Unusual, I believe, was the word she used.”

If Goemon was hinting at something, Zenigata wasn’t getting it yet. “And?”

Goemon surveyed the restaurant Zenigata had called him to before leaning close and speaking in a hushed tone. “His teeth have changed.”

Zenigata’s gaze set right above Goemon’s head, focused on nothing, as he repeated. “TEETH?!”

“Hush,” Goemon quieted him. “Teeth. His canines, to be precise.”

Zenigata’s eyes fell on Goemon again, less than amused. “Uh huh.” He didn’t mark Goemon as a joker, but it looked like he’d have to make amends to that. Goemon Ishikawa the Thirteenth, the man he’d never seen laugh once, the man who chose to sit peacefully than partake in foolish games, was implying that Lupin was suffering from a case of vampirism. “Tell me, is Fujiko’s neck okay?” he snorted. 

Goemon didn’t think it was that funny. “She--” His mouth twitched, eyes blowing wide for the smallest second. “I didn’t tell you that.”

That caught Zenigata’s interest, but he still suspected Goemon was playing a game of some sort. “Did he bite her?”

Goemon had to think about it. “Yes, but not hard, and he seemed disturbed after.”

Zenigata thought that the idea of Lupin cozying up to any piece of exposed skin during sex wasn’t really that odd, but bit his tongue. 

Goemon went on. “He stopped as soon as it happened. Fujiko said his eyes glazed, as they do when he’s--”

“Upset and confused,” Zenigata finished, and Goemon nodded, not saying anything about Zenigata’s intrusion. 

“He left the room with a quick apology, and said he had to go to take care of something.” Goemon breathed fiercely through his nose. “She showed me the marks.”

Marks? “You said-- Er, Fujiko said he didn’t bite hard!”

“His new physical attributes only require light pressure to wound.”

Zenigata was starting to feel uncomfortable. Goemon’s tone never went easy, his eyes never lightening back up. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but… Look, if you didn’t want me to prod you just shouldn’t have come.” He started to stand, to get out of there.

Goemon’s eyes flashed dangerously. “You believe this is a prank.”

“You’re telling me Lupin is going to put Dracula out of business, Goemon. It’s not personal, but I know how this goes--”

Goemon stood, not angry, but with a strong presence regardless. “Ask her yourself. She will prove what I cannot.” He left, without further theatrics.

What did he have to lose? Zenigata pulled out his phone and texted Fujiko. There was no guarantee she’d see it, given how often she tossed phones out the window to minimize tracking. And if she did see it, and it was a prank that Lupin and Jigen had constructed for Goemon to play through, what would happen? She’d get mad. Big deal, she got mad plenty, and Zenigata would’ve already made a fool of himself in front of Goemon. No further harm done.

She responded before he even put his phone away. A picture, and a dose of heavy sarcasm to accompany it. The image was, predictably, one she’d taken of the bite. It wasn’t horrific, but it wasn’t pleasant. A concave shape, the curve almost aligning with her neck. It was red, and almost resembled a scratch from a particularly talented cat. While it was a whole shape, there were parts of it darker than others. Redder. Four tiny points, evenly spaced. Zenigata took a heavy drink from his previously untouched cup. 

Below the picture, Fujiko summed up her feelings briefly. 

“ _this look fake to you, fucko_?”

No more than a week had passed from Goemon and Zenigata’s conversation, but Zenigata had yet to see any of the gang since. Radio silence wasn’t usually alarming, but after what Goemon had told him, after what Fujiko had _showed_ him, Zenigata wasn’t sure how things were looking on their end. Lupin would sooner banish himself from the others than kill them, but that didn’t settle Zenigata much more. Had Lupin disappeared? Was his gang fruitlessly looking for him? Should _he_ be looking for him?

All of his fears quickly dissolved after receiving a taunting calling card. 

A costume party. A gaggle of millionaires. Lupin would practically be walking around the place with a shopping cart and a dollar store novelty mask. 

The event itself swept by quickly, time flowing like melted butter. Zenigata barely remembered the drive or the hour up to when the crowd scattered in a panic. He saw Jigen only for a second, and he thought he heard Goemon on the floor above the ballroom, but he wasn’t focused on that. 

A high-pitched, triumphant laugh rang in the air above, making the swarm on the floor turn in a panic. 

Fighting against the crowd, Zenigata found himself being the last to turn and see. High above, on one of the large, open windows, the purple curtains billowed around a man. He held himself steady by holding onto the side of the window, standing on the sill. In his hands, he swung around a small but hefty bag, based on the lumps of riches threatening to rip out. There was no question as to where the stolen goods had gone. 

The sight of Lupin alone was enough to make Zenigata burn with anger, his attitude only worsening it. But the bastard had the nerve to pick a perfect costume for the occasion.

A pitch black suit, opened just enough to reveal a bright red vest underneath. Based on how scruffy they were compared to the rest, his shoes were likely the only thing he didn’t steal for his little get up. A silky top hat, and not even a mask as Zenigata had imagined. However, the real pièce de résistance was an old cape, lined with red fabric on the innermost part. The collar was turned up high, and if Lupin turned his head just slightly to the side, all you could make out was the light of his eyes. 

When he laughed again, his mouth opened wide. Wide enough that the dim light of the chandelier sparkled off his teeth. Zenigata felt his heart jump to his throat. So maybe Lupin did have a problem. Zenigata looked around nervously, hoping the other three weren’t in the room to shriek, “I TOLD YOU SO!” at him.

That son of a bitch. This was plenty of reason to arrest him alone, pickpocketing rich people or not. Zenigata fell into routine fairly easily otherwise.

“LUPIN!!”

Immediately, Lupin met his eyes and grinned, showing off his new features once more. Zenigata glowered at him, not addressing the obvious elephant Lupin had brought into the room. He was far away from him, after all. You could go to any costume store to buy plastic fangs. Zenigata wasn’t sure why he’d get a pair with two sets, but now wasn’t the time to ask him. 

“Looks like it’s time for us to part, esteemed guests. I know my friends certainly already have.” Zenigata groaned. “And sooo,” Lupin drawled. “I bid you adieu!” 

Zenigata didn’t even see how Lupin got down from that high up. He just ran to the back, pushing through the shrieking and squealing crowd, focused on nothing but the door. Successfully, he broke out into the dark rain, marred only by the bright lights eminating from street lights, cars, and the spill-over from the lights inside the building. The contrast almost made it impossible to tell who was where, which car was which--

“I’ll catch up! Go ahead with the stuff!”

There was that annoying voice. Zenigata turned on his heel, almost slipping from the breakneck action. Lupin stood behind that matchbox of a car, the red light of the brakes painting his face. Zenigata began to storm over, puddles already seeping into his shoes. 

He couldn’t see him, not that he was taking his eyes off the target anyways, but he heard Jigen speak. “Where are you goin’?”

Lupin, however, had already noticed Zenigata, and was motioning for him to book it. “Go!”

Both the car and Lupin took off in opposite directions, oddly enough, the car heading for the forest and Lupin heading for the street. Zenigata knew the stolen goods were in the car, and followed Lupin anyways. 

They ran, and ran, and ran. Zenigata would never consider giving up, but his legs might’ve, and that was saying a lot considering the usual strain they were used to. It wasn’t that they didn’t normally engage in chases like this; just that they didn’t normally carry out this far, or this long. Lupin wouldn’t give up, but he’d make sharp turns, slide away, properly escape. Right now it seemed like he was purposefully leading Zenigata somewhere, but he didn’t care. It was hard to see exactly where they were barreling to, but Zenigata could feel himself getting closer and closer to finally--

BAM!!

Zenigata came face to forehead with a heavy, black door. He lifted the brim of his hat to soothe the bump, only for the brim to soggily slide down. He ignored it, focusing on the door. He supposed he hadn’t seen it because of how it blended into the night, and raised his hand to knock before remembering who had led him here. The hell with that, he was going to break down the damn door if he had to. But before subjecting the poor door to a battering, he tried the heavy handle, noting how this house was old enough to lack a doorknob. Or, maybe it was just too fancy for it. 

Zenigata half-smiled to himself, his glare never truly letting up. What a security system. Obviously the scary carvings on the doorknocker would scare away any potential robbers. 

It was unlocked. Heavy, but unlocked. Zenigata pulled the handle towards him, finding only a chain dangling off the other end to be the only functional lock. Caught up enough in the bizarre situation, he wrapped his free hand around the side of the door. It was solid, and unusually thick for a modern house. As he stepped inside, everything came together. 

This wasn’t a house, let alone a modern one. Lupin had led him to the pompous ‘historic’ castle on the other side of the high-end countryside. 

Oh yeah, he was definitely going to kill him.

  
  


Zenigata had been in castles before, but this one… Kind of sucked.

He’d seen all sorts, from intricately designed and upkept even to this day, and modest, crumbling ones that hadn’t been touched until he had to step in. This castle wasn’t even on that scale, and instead felt like the architectural equivalent of a plastic spider held up by a string. It was big, as most castles seemed to be, but where the other’s large statures gave off an air of importance, this one gave him goosebumps, and made him feel very alone. 

Maybe that was why a certain someone chose it for a hiding spot. 

Despite the uneasy atmosphere, Zenigata’s voice didn’t waver when he eventually called out. “Lupin?”

He heard a shift above, seemingly on the second floor, specifically a balcony that wrapped around the main hall Zenigata stood in. Confirmation. “Lupin, cut it out and get down here.”

A sigh echoed up to the high ceiling. “You’re never any fun. Can’t you let me have this?”

“No!” Zenigata sounded offended by the idea of it. “Look, we have to talk, apparently.”

“In the dark?”

Zenigata was taken aback by the strange question. “I don’t-- Unless this place has electricity or you brought a flashlight.”

“Fair enough. I just thought you might feel better if you could see.”

“I feel fine,” he scoffed. “Don’t you think I’m a little too old to be afraid of the dark?”

“I was just thinking, it would be easier to catch me if you could see me.”

“Believe me, I’m sure aliens in space can see you with that gaudy cape.”

“You don’t like it?” He heard the sound of fabric rustling, and pictured Lupin frowning as he lifted his oversized cape. “I thought it added flair.”

“Beyond terrifying your harem, I don’t think it adds much.”

“Terrifying?! Who’s terrifying?”

“Why don’t you ask that ugly scrape on Fujiko’s neck?”

Lupin was uncharacteristically silent.

“Goe-- I-I mean, I even heard from a source that Jigen’s fallen for your undead shtick. Tricking Goemon is one thing, going after Fujiko isn’t that surprising, but pulling off a prank with so much dedication that even Jigen can’t see through it? That’s not a joke, that’s cruel. You’re freaking them out.”

Lupin still didn’t respond, and Zenigata realized he wasn’t standing on the balcony overlooking him. He spoke again. “I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’m getting real tired o-OF?!”

Zenigata felt a brush from behind, almost like fingers touching his back. He jolted away from the sudden touch, eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. He turned to grab Lupin’s arm, but found him steps away already. 

Only 10 feet apart, it would’ve been easy to just tackle him from here, but Zenigata felt as if his feet were glued to the ground. Ooh, he did NOT like Lupin’s eyes. 

They were still brown, but when small traces of light bounced off them they just looked… wrong…?

“At least talk to me, jackass!”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I-- I dunno, I’m not a therapist for you four. I’m not a goddamn messenger pigeon! Talk it out yourselves, apologize to them and-- STOP looking at me that way!”

“I’m not--”

“I can feel you staring at me, it’s creepy!” Zenigata bit his tongue as soon as it came out. He’d made the mistake of admitting Lupin’s behavior change was unnerving him. 

Lupin’s attitude eased somewhat, a smile slowly stretching onto his face. “Aw, no, don’t tell me the tough detective is afraid of a few parlor tricks! Because that’s all you think it is, right?”

The mocking tone made him feel better, in a bizarre familiar way, but Zenigata still had to grab the sides of his pants to keep from touching his neck. “I just think it’s gone too far.”

“Mm, and it would’ve! But say, if it wasn’t just gags and jokes…?”

“Don’t sound so hopeful about it.”

“Not hopeful, just wondering.” Lupin took a few steps closer to Zenigata, the latter of tensed. 

Lupin wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t! If he did, it wasn't like Zenigata couldn't push him away. It wasn't like Zenigata was going to have to weigh the moral pros and cons of letting a vampire, much less his sworn enemy, bit-- Whatever. Lupin was getting closer, he didn't have time to dwell.

“I was hoping you’d at least try to fit the party theme.”

“You think I have time--”

Lupin mumbled something about too many layers while staring. 

“What?”

“What?” Lupin repeated. “Oh, I just was hoping you’d wear something for the occasion. Especially since it’s going to be summer soon, it’s getting hotter so it’d be easier on you.” 

Zenigata blinked. Of all the times to do this, Lupin was going to act this way now? “I almost hope you’re undead, because I feel like strangling you right now.”

Lupin was right by him now. “Isn’t that fortunate?” 

Zenigata gave up the last sliver of survival he had and grabbed Lupin's arm, pointing in his face. “Cut. It. Out! I’m not gonna sit and let you pretend you… you’re….” 

Lupin smiled at the contact near immediately, and Zenigata felt the same pit in his stomach as when he first caught a glimpse of them. Two on the top, two on the bottom, albeit smaller than their neighbors upstairs. There weren’t plastic. They were certainly bone. 

Zenigata’s face went red, from anger, embarrassment or something else, he didn’t know. “Like what you see?”

“You’ve got to be kidding," he sputtered blankly.

“We should have bet around it. Loser would have to bring the other one dinner.” 

If Lupin had licked his lips, Zenigata didn’t want to know. 

“I don’t know why you’re so worked up about this, Pops! I thought I’d be threatened with jail already, but here we are.”

Zenigata tried to recover by glowering at him, but it didn’t silence him. “Just me, you, this old place no one ever talks about, and my fresh insatiable bloodlust.”

“I’d hardly call it fresh, this probably happens every three years with you people,” Zenigata deflected. He let go of Lupin’s arm, unfortunately finding that at some point, Lupin had grabbed his. 

Lupin looked almost embarrassed about it. “C’mon.”

“C’mon what?” 

“Just a nibble?”

Zenigata felt his face flush. So maybe the tables were turning? But still, only halfway. “NO!! FOR ALL I KNOW YOU’D LEAVE NOTHING LEFT OF ME BUT A RAISIN! NEVER, NO.”

Lupin almost looked pitiful.”Oh Pops, you don't know how hard it is! I’ve had to eat nothing but steak for the past month, really rare too, and Jigen HATES making rare steak!”

“So make it yourself!”

“You’re missing the point! I need something real to hold me over! Something juicy.”

“I think I should have went after the others.”

“I’ll turn myself in,” Lupin said quickly. 

“Sure,” Zenigata laughed bitterly. “For what, a day?”

Lupin drew his lips inwards for a tight frown. “Month.”

It was tempting. 

“Two?”

Driving a hard bargain.

“Fine! A year, no more! So stingy.”

Zenigata turned to Lupin carefully. “I don’t think I believe you.”

“Then that’s on you! Wouldn’t you rather I do this now in a controlled environment before my cravings take the reigns of my mind, forcing me to attack some unwitting waif?” Lupin threw his hands around like he was hosting a one-man puppet show, in particular making a strangling motion when he reached the word ‘reigns.’

“Since when have you ever said the word ‘waif’ without losing it?” He doubted Lupin would go that low anyways, especially with his whole 'no harm to women and children' rule.

“I’m dying here.” While never breaking his airy, jokey disposition, there was a faint strain in Lupin’s voice.

Zenigata had lost more than this before. “What do I do?”

Lupin’s smile shone like a tractor beam as he grabbed Zenigata's coat. “Allow m--”

“Hell no, just tell me what to do.”

“Drop the coat, and the jacket, and-- are you wearing a fucking vest? It’s 25 C outside!”

Zenigata grimaced.”Can’t you just go for an artery in my arm, or something?” 

“That still requires you ditching some clothes to fold up the sleeve, and no. I hate to tell you, but it has to be from there.” Lupin pointed inbetween the curves of the trenchcoat’s lapels. Zenigata felt like Lupin didn’t really hate it. “Okay fine, you can leave them on, just give me some space to work with.”

Zenigata awkwardly put his hands into motion, before peeking back at Lupin. “Can you stop staring now?”

Lupin quickly turned, already knowing he was pushing it and lucky enough to get this far. 

“You’re very calm about this.”

“So are you,” Lupin pointed out. “I thought I’d have to raid the local blood bank or something, but you agreed pretty-- Oh, go ahead and sit down against that pillar-- pretty quick.”

Zenigata complied, but not before grumbling first. He wasn’t letting Lupin think he won just because he was agreeing. 

He was just… curious. And besides, what better way to knock out Lupin and drag him to the nearest jail than to be in close quarters?

“Why do I have to…?”

“This floor is pretty sturdy. If you passed ou--”

Zenigata laughed. “You said a nibble. Are you forgetting how far we ran to get here? I think I'd be okay.”

“A nibble isn’t an exact measurement,” Lupin said, barely touching the collar of Zenigata's shirt before he stopped him. 

“Yo...You’re not encouraging me.”

Lupin snickered. “That's just cuz you’re nervous.”

Zenigata pulled Lupin in to shout. “OF COURSE I AM,” he barked, “YOU’RE ABOUT TO BITE ME!!” The declaration echoed through the hallway, making Zenigata wince. It served to charm Lupin even more, laughing louder.

“I can make it easier, if you want.”

“As in, not doing it?” 

“No, more like… softening a bandage before ripping it off. It makes it sting less.”

“Oh, okay, that does make se-- WAIT, NO IT DOESN'T. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”

“Just relax! Look, if you really want me to leave I’ll--”

“No,” Zenigata answered firmly. “You were right, it’s better this way.” He shut his eyes tight, but grinned crookedly. “Besides, a year? For something this small? It’s a no-brainer.”

Zenigata crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back and trying to relax as Lupin had told him. Unfortunately, he immediately tensed when Lupin touched his shirt again.

“If you don’t wan--”

“Just get it over with!”

“That’s not really the attitude I--”

“C’mon! Stop stalling.” 

He still refused to open his eyes, but he could practically feel Lupin’s cheeky grin spreading. 

“If I didn’t know any better…” Lupin never finished his sentence, finally pushing the fabric out of the way. Zenigata didn’t say a word. 

“Tell me if it tickles.”

Zenigata rolled his eyes, feeling breath on the juncture between his shoulder and neck for only a second until it faded away. He thought Lupin had backed off again, but couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes yet. In fact, they almost felt heavy. He wasn’t tired before, why was he ready to clock out now? 

“Okay!” Rang a sing-song voice. ”Lock me up!”

Zenigata opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. “That’s… it?”

“Were you expecting a lollipop for good behavior?”

“No, I just didn’t--” Zenigata rose, half of his coat sliding off. When did Lupin move it? He felt his neck, surprised at the wet touch.

“Oh, I get it. It’s the mess. It’s really not that much, it just kinda spreads, y’know? Like how a papercut’ll last forever. You can rinse it and it’ll be fine.”

Zenigata lingered on his fresh injury, feeling the divets, but somehow not even smelling the metallic scent. He wasn’t sure it was comparable to a papercut. When he moved his hand away, there was definitely blood on his fingertips, but it almost felt like it wasn’t his. 

Still visibly shocked, Lupin thought he might answer more questions Zenigata wasn’t going to be asking. “I said just a nibble.”

“I didn’t feel a damn thing! What was the point’a that!?” 

Lupin’s eyebrows rose in half-amusement, half-surprise. “I told you it wouldn’t hurt any. Did I let you down? Did you WANT to feel it?” 

“NO!!” Zenigata shouted. “No,” he said quieter. “I just-- I was prepared, dammit!” 

“Jeez Pops, I always suspected you’d be like this with the handcuffs thing, but biting wasn’t one I’d thought up.”

“What’r-- HEY! NO! Nooo, no,” Zenigata affirmed, face pale from either embarrassment or an uncovered wound. 

“Hold on, you’re not gonna clean that until we leave, are you?” Lupin lifted the edge of his tacky cape like a napkin, and gestured for Zenigata to tilt his chin up. “Infections are serious business, obviously I keep my teeth clean but a dusty place like this probably has asbestos cookies in the kitchen.”

Zenigata was feeling too many emotions to even tell Lupin he wasn’t funny. “Mmm. That’s probably right.” 

Whatever painkiller or sedative had taken effect, it was starting to wear down. Zenigata swallowed a lump of discomfort as Lupin touched it the first time. “It’s not deep,” he said casually, as though he wasn’t the one who inflicted it. “I only went deep enough to get a little. Although next time, since it’s bothering you so bad, I could go further.”

Zenigata had only brought it up in passing, yet Lupin was acting like he’d prepared a speech on proper vampire feeding techniques. Suddenly, Zenigata realized what Lupin had said. “NEXT T-- WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THERE’LL BE A NEXT TIME!!” He turned sharply to face Lupin, who had ruined his cape and, by now, wiped off most of the blood. 

Lupin shoved Zenigata's face away again to continue tending to his neck. “If you’re turning me in, I’ll need a good meal everyday, don’t you think?”

Zenigata laughed coldly out of the corner of his mouth. “Uh huh, sure.” 

Lupin’s smile shifted to a more thoughtful one, almost surprised. He adjusted Zenigata's tie, not hiding the blood, but at least making it look like the mark wasn't intended. “Why did you follow me?” 

Zenigata had planned for this, and answered a little too fast and a little too loud. “I’m supposed to catch you. You being the leader means if I caught you first, the others would follow like ducks in a row.” 

Lupin looked thoroughly unconvinced. “I’m sure. Okay, can you stand?”

“Stop doting, of course I can.” To further prove his point, he momentarily fell back onto the pillar as he stood. “It’s just a tiny thing.”

Lupin wrapped himself in his cape, hiding his arms. Zenigata knew better than to keep Lupin’s hands out of sight. “What do you think you’re doing? You have a reserved room for tonight, you’re coming with me.”

Lupin’s mouth quivered as he looked at the ceiling in defeat. “Lucky me. Can I expect a private escort?”

“Oh, I promise,” Zenigata’s smile was scary enough to rival Lupin’s new one. 

“Well, I better start now, so it’s over sooner…”

Zenigata was a little surprised to hear that. “That’s… That’s a good way to look at it,” he said, voice tinged with glee. He knew Lupin wasn’t ready to reform right now, especially with this new condition, but hearing Lupin accept it sounded much better than he ever imagined. 

“I can’t be too bummed out if you’re keeping an eye on me,” Lupin winked.

Zenigata laughed awkwardly and led Lupin to the door, calling for a backup car. Within 10 minutes, the car arrived, the driver in shock that Lupin was coming so freely. Yet, he, along with the others who saw Lupin following Zenigata obediently, wasn’t going to complain. Zenigata was asked a few times about the blood on his shirt, and lied stiffly, saying he’d been attacked by an adjacent criminal before finding Lupin. It was enough to satisfy them.

Luckily, they didn’t question why Zenigata had to be the one to deliver Lupin’s dinner, either. After all, he was probably proud of finally catching him, and so what if the inspector had taken to wearing his collar a little higher? So what if sometimes, there looked to be bright droplets of red on an otherwise perfectly white shirt? It was none of their business.

It barely lasted a week. 

Zenigata woke one morning to hear, shocker, Lupin had escaped.

**Author's Note:**

> And then he went on to audition for Count Chocola live-action commercials! He's got the hairline for it!!


End file.
